For Better – Tara Parker-Pope (Dutton)

Everyone knows there is no shortage of ‘relationship’ books on the market today. Books about dating, mating and separating have lined bookshelves for years.

So it comes with some surprise that someone has come up with a fresh approach to this age-old topic; an approach primarily based on science. Not just science in a cold, clinical, Masters and Johnson style, but a science that takes into account things like socialization, health patterns, communication skills and lifestyle issues.

In, ‘For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage,’ author and New York Times’ ‘Well blog’ columnist Tara Parker-Pope explores a wide variety of factors that determine success (or failure) for today’s married couples. Everything from the initial meeting to body language (including the killer rolled eyeballs), frequency of sex, and married vs. single vs. divorced health patterns for both men and women is fair game here. From hormonal studies to extra-marital affairs, the concepts are explained with the kind of backing that goes beyond the opinion style of similar books to a well vetted set of facts (many of which are counter-intuitive) to support each revealing position. Meaning… we’re talking research.

Parker-Pope brings together an impressive array of studies and statistics – from lab experiments on mice and chimps, to census data trends to a wide swath of studies (Berkeley, NYU, Vanderbilt, Mayo Clinic, etc.) to create her models of the new married class. Dozens upon dozens of studies are translated in a well organized fashion to examine the factors that create lasting marital love; the nitty-gritty of why some relations work, others don’t and what can really be done to improve a couple’s chances of overall success. (The good news here, is that things aren’t as bad as we’ve been led to believe.) Throughout, Parker-Pope presents the findings in a fluid yet condensed (i.e. no filler) writing style that is neither dry nor difficult to absorb, which, in the final analysis, is precisely what sets ‘For Better’ apart from many others on the subject.